I went ahead and taught MND's Act II, Scene 1. It was not horrible, but it was definitely one of the weaker teaching days.
I began the lesson with Four on the Floor (an activity I love and learned in this program). The questions were about specific passages where the students had to figure out what was going on. (Strike one) One of the posters had Oberon and Titania in bubble maps (that was a good one) and the conflict between the two. That was the only good poster.
After the activity, I posted the posters up and looked at the responses, 80% of them were totally, absolutely, off. Some students either hadn't read, some read and didn't understand, and a couple really got it.
Let me also mention that my master teacher was in there to observe me. I thought to myself, "self!" what do I do?
I ignored the posters and had the students refer to their texts, beginning with some interpretation about my favorite passage (Titania describing her friend's pregnant belly,etc). Again, no response.
Hmm. What to do now? I ended the lesson and played a game. Now it's spring break. What to do?
Saturday, March 31, 2007
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
I love Shakespeare, and my master teacher cried. All in one day!
What a manic profession this is! Someone had mentioned this in the program and now I agree.
I originally stated that I hate Shakespeare. Shame on me. That is not the case. I think that comes from my high school experience and university deconstruction of Shakespeare.
THis week we are studying MND Act 2, sc.1 and it is so beautiful that I really don't know how to teach it. I know how to teach it in the sense that I can teach the "meaning": and I can create discussions, but how do you elicit a visceral response to beautiful language?? I am referring to the lines from Titania, where she and Oberon are bickering about the little boy, and she describes the woman who gave birth to the child, stating, "...when we have laughed to see the sails conceive and grow big bellied with the wanton wind, which she, with pretty and swimming gait, following (her womb then rich with my young squire), would imitate and sail upon the land to fetch me trifles and return again, as from a voyage, rich with merchandise. But she, being mortal, of that boy did die, and for her sake do I rear up her boy, and for her sake I will not part with him."
Whew. really, how the hell do we teach that? How can we expect ninth graders to appreciate this without ruining the magic of those lines? It would be like telling my daughter that there is no Santa, that mommy and daddy order all the toys from online and when they break, it breaks our pockets, not santas. Or I can just tell them a bunch of things to make them cynics. Is it just me, maybe it's because I am a mom, but I don't think you need to be a mom or even an adult for that matter to be able to comprehend the gorgeousness of those lines. Frankly, i am uncomfortable teaching this to the ninth graders because I will probably ruin it. Really, can't they just read it an hopefully two of the students will be moved? Frankly, I don't even know if I can read these lines without my voice cracking or my eyes welling up. On the other hand, if I don't ask them to pay attention to the images and language, I am not introducing them to the beauty of Shakespeare.
Which leads me to the second part of this post. Is it march madness or what?
My other master teacher met with me today. She gave me a decent erod, etc. That's nice and all and she went over a couple things like "I scaffold too much" and "students at this school should have lots of lectures" etc. Ok, whatever. Then she started to cry! She told me that she found out that i had discussed a conversation between the two of us (actually, when she told me some very offensive things) and she had found out that i had mentioned this to my dept. chair. My chair was so sorry to place me with such a crazy person who has had student teachers quit left and right when they worked with her, etc etc that I am fortunate I didn't tell my master teacher that I actually chose to STAY with her because I feel so sorry for her!!!! I AM SUCH AN IDIOT.
Anyway, I explained to her that I am accountable to my program and the practices that I must address in this program and that was that. I didn't feel bad, I didn't typically apologize and be passive, as I usually am. I stood my ground.
Frankly, I don't think those tears were even sincere. She is a very manipulative person and I am fed up. For once I was assertive and I am happy about it.
Now I am waiting for my karma. I could have kept my mouth to myself and not shared her comments with the dept. chair, but in the end, that would have hurt me.
I originally stated that I hate Shakespeare. Shame on me. That is not the case. I think that comes from my high school experience and university deconstruction of Shakespeare.
THis week we are studying MND Act 2, sc.1 and it is so beautiful that I really don't know how to teach it. I know how to teach it in the sense that I can teach the "meaning": and I can create discussions, but how do you elicit a visceral response to beautiful language?? I am referring to the lines from Titania, where she and Oberon are bickering about the little boy, and she describes the woman who gave birth to the child, stating, "...when we have laughed to see the sails conceive and grow big bellied with the wanton wind, which she, with pretty and swimming gait, following (her womb then rich with my young squire), would imitate and sail upon the land to fetch me trifles and return again, as from a voyage, rich with merchandise. But she, being mortal, of that boy did die, and for her sake do I rear up her boy, and for her sake I will not part with him."
Whew. really, how the hell do we teach that? How can we expect ninth graders to appreciate this without ruining the magic of those lines? It would be like telling my daughter that there is no Santa, that mommy and daddy order all the toys from online and when they break, it breaks our pockets, not santas. Or I can just tell them a bunch of things to make them cynics. Is it just me, maybe it's because I am a mom, but I don't think you need to be a mom or even an adult for that matter to be able to comprehend the gorgeousness of those lines. Frankly, i am uncomfortable teaching this to the ninth graders because I will probably ruin it. Really, can't they just read it an hopefully two of the students will be moved? Frankly, I don't even know if I can read these lines without my voice cracking or my eyes welling up. On the other hand, if I don't ask them to pay attention to the images and language, I am not introducing them to the beauty of Shakespeare.
Which leads me to the second part of this post. Is it march madness or what?
My other master teacher met with me today. She gave me a decent erod, etc. That's nice and all and she went over a couple things like "I scaffold too much" and "students at this school should have lots of lectures" etc. Ok, whatever. Then she started to cry! She told me that she found out that i had discussed a conversation between the two of us (actually, when she told me some very offensive things) and she had found out that i had mentioned this to my dept. chair. My chair was so sorry to place me with such a crazy person who has had student teachers quit left and right when they worked with her, etc etc that I am fortunate I didn't tell my master teacher that I actually chose to STAY with her because I feel so sorry for her!!!! I AM SUCH AN IDIOT.
Anyway, I explained to her that I am accountable to my program and the practices that I must address in this program and that was that. I didn't feel bad, I didn't typically apologize and be passive, as I usually am. I stood my ground.
Frankly, I don't think those tears were even sincere. She is a very manipulative person and I am fed up. For once I was assertive and I am happy about it.
Now I am waiting for my karma. I could have kept my mouth to myself and not shared her comments with the dept. chair, but in the end, that would have hurt me.
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
erod
You think you know your master teacher until you get hit with this.
"Conscientiously checks for understanding. In fact, may sometimes overestimate obligation to do so." Rating 2/3
What the hell? There is this assumption at this damn school that the students know everything and if they don't, well, that's just too bad. And this was from the master teacher who I like!!
This is not Oxford or Stanford. It's a public high school with students who still write "I went their" and "alot" and make the same mistakes that other students make. What a bunch of ridiculousness, all I did was an exit ticket!
In my other class, we started Night. I debated whether I should talk about my family's experience about the genocide. I didn't tell them that my grandmother drank horse urine to stay alive because she saw other people getting sick from drinking the well water, but I did tell them that all of my grandparents families were murdered before their very eyes. I also told them that some of the material we will be reading is very sad, and that we will do other activities to try to lighten it up. I am going to bring them candy on Thursday and we'll watch scenes from Life is Beautiful in a couple weeks. I really want to stay away from giving vocabulary on Dachau and Auschwitz, and try to get the students to have a personal reaction to the book. On the other hand, they need to know the terms so that they can understand the full context and historical implications of the book.
Today in C&I I was thinking we only have about five class meetings left. This freaks me out. I feel like I have learned everything and nothing simultaneously. I really like my friends in the program, and I hope that we will still have some kind of community after we are done.
I am a bit stressed out really. My best friend told me to start having one drink a night and that it's good for your heart, etc. My alchohol tolerance is very low and I have tons of work to do, so I can't. However, I am beginning to think that it would be good for me to take up such a habit. At least I wouldn't be smoking. My oldest daughter is sad when I come home late, and my younger one just said mam for the first time. I am not sure if she was referring to cheerios or me.
"Conscientiously checks for understanding. In fact, may sometimes overestimate obligation to do so." Rating 2/3
What the hell? There is this assumption at this damn school that the students know everything and if they don't, well, that's just too bad. And this was from the master teacher who I like!!
This is not Oxford or Stanford. It's a public high school with students who still write "I went their" and "alot" and make the same mistakes that other students make. What a bunch of ridiculousness, all I did was an exit ticket!
In my other class, we started Night. I debated whether I should talk about my family's experience about the genocide. I didn't tell them that my grandmother drank horse urine to stay alive because she saw other people getting sick from drinking the well water, but I did tell them that all of my grandparents families were murdered before their very eyes. I also told them that some of the material we will be reading is very sad, and that we will do other activities to try to lighten it up. I am going to bring them candy on Thursday and we'll watch scenes from Life is Beautiful in a couple weeks. I really want to stay away from giving vocabulary on Dachau and Auschwitz, and try to get the students to have a personal reaction to the book. On the other hand, they need to know the terms so that they can understand the full context and historical implications of the book.
Today in C&I I was thinking we only have about five class meetings left. This freaks me out. I feel like I have learned everything and nothing simultaneously. I really like my friends in the program, and I hope that we will still have some kind of community after we are done.
I am a bit stressed out really. My best friend told me to start having one drink a night and that it's good for your heart, etc. My alchohol tolerance is very low and I have tons of work to do, so I can't. However, I am beginning to think that it would be good for me to take up such a habit. At least I wouldn't be smoking. My oldest daughter is sad when I come home late, and my younger one just said mam for the first time. I am not sure if she was referring to cheerios or me.
Monday, March 26, 2007
I hate Shakespeare!
I don't really hate Shakespeare, but I hate teaching it at my site. Really, these people take themselves too damn seriously!!!
My students are enjoying my lessons. Today we studied Bottomisms, ie; why Bottom uses so many malapropisms, etc. My other class has started Night and that won't be a problem.
The good news is that the VP at my site loves me, so does my dept. chair. The bad news is, my one master teacher sucks. She is the worst teacher I have ever seen. I really don't know how she can be a master teacher.
My erod has a 2 on it because one master teacher thingks I check for understanding TOO MUCH. What a bunch of bullshit.
My students are enjoying my lessons. Today we studied Bottomisms, ie; why Bottom uses so many malapropisms, etc. My other class has started Night and that won't be a problem.
The good news is that the VP at my site loves me, so does my dept. chair. The bad news is, my one master teacher sucks. She is the worst teacher I have ever seen. I really don't know how she can be a master teacher.
My erod has a 2 on it because one master teacher thingks I check for understanding TOO MUCH. What a bunch of bullshit.
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
close to dropping out!
I was so close to dropping out of the program this weekend. Really, is all this work worth it?
The answer is, YES.
I was just able to sit down. My nanny's husband had a heartattack so I am home early and with the kids. THe problem is today I had an asynchronous remote lesson or whatever and literally couldn't get to the computer to post. Now it's too late. Oh well.
I am starting midsummer night's dream this week and next week I'll start Night which I am so thrilled about. Genocide is my thing. On top of that, I am waiting for news about my book from a publisher. The editor told me he really, really likes my book but has to wait to make some decisions with his editing partner. I guess it's nice he likes it. SO I find out in the next couple weeks. The book is about genocide, the loss of language/discourse, and string theory. How weird is that? I wrote it last year and I am wondering what to do with it if this publisher doesn't publish it. I only want this publisher!!!
Furthermore, my classroom is going well. It's wonderful!!!! I am having so much fun in there that I wonder where the work went. It's very hard work, but really, other than some tweaking here and there, the students seem to be happy, except for one who consistently has problems in all her classes. I am working with her. She actually lights up when she sees me and likes to talk, and all that, but when it comes to doing work, she is very inconsistent. I'm thinking she will like this new unit, and some days she has her work, but she has so much on her personal life plate that I don't know what to do. I think she likes my consistency though. I am probably the most consistent thing in her life now. So, I'll be helping her during office hours.
The answer is, YES.
I was just able to sit down. My nanny's husband had a heartattack so I am home early and with the kids. THe problem is today I had an asynchronous remote lesson or whatever and literally couldn't get to the computer to post. Now it's too late. Oh well.
I am starting midsummer night's dream this week and next week I'll start Night which I am so thrilled about. Genocide is my thing. On top of that, I am waiting for news about my book from a publisher. The editor told me he really, really likes my book but has to wait to make some decisions with his editing partner. I guess it's nice he likes it. SO I find out in the next couple weeks. The book is about genocide, the loss of language/discourse, and string theory. How weird is that? I wrote it last year and I am wondering what to do with it if this publisher doesn't publish it. I only want this publisher!!!
Furthermore, my classroom is going well. It's wonderful!!!! I am having so much fun in there that I wonder where the work went. It's very hard work, but really, other than some tweaking here and there, the students seem to be happy, except for one who consistently has problems in all her classes. I am working with her. She actually lights up when she sees me and likes to talk, and all that, but when it comes to doing work, she is very inconsistent. I'm thinking she will like this new unit, and some days she has her work, but she has so much on her personal life plate that I don't know what to do. I think she likes my consistency though. I am probably the most consistent thing in her life now. So, I'll be helping her during office hours.
Friday, March 16, 2007
The Nanny Diaries
My nanny's husband had a massive heartattack this week. These people have more worries than anyone. She came from Armenia five years ago, worked odd and end jobs as a midwife (she has medical training and her husband is an engineer) and now her kids are here. All three are ESL students. All three have tested out of ELD in one year. She is only 42 and her husband is also.
So, think about this. On top of the fact that kids have major issues when they come to the classroom, imagine if they are also learning english.
I don't have much else to write today. Teaching wise, it was a good week. Their blog is going well.
So, think about this. On top of the fact that kids have major issues when they come to the classroom, imagine if they are also learning english.
I don't have much else to write today. Teaching wise, it was a good week. Their blog is going well.
Friday, March 9, 2007
It's Friday
Well, my metaphors lesson was just a little too hard. The kids liked it but they were lost at one point. I used Naomi Shihab Nye's poem "Blood" and compared it to an article about the Pal/Israel issue. It was effective, however, the Margaret Atwood poem was not so effective, a little too complicated. So I downshifted a little and went over a Langston Hughes poem which was quite simple. In retrospect, it wasn't that bad.
Then the eleventh graders came in an did their Beowulf presentation, stealing a student to make him swear fealty. IT was hilarious.
The home front is ok. My husband is conked out on the couch and I am ready to do the same. However, I have to finish grading because they are due on Monday.
I have to start Midsummer Night's Dream and I am very stressed about it. I have never taught a Shakespeare play. I'm doing sonnets next week which should be fun, and then my website will be up!
Then the eleventh graders came in an did their Beowulf presentation, stealing a student to make him swear fealty. IT was hilarious.
The home front is ok. My husband is conked out on the couch and I am ready to do the same. However, I have to finish grading because they are due on Monday.
I have to start Midsummer Night's Dream and I am very stressed about it. I have never taught a Shakespeare play. I'm doing sonnets next week which should be fun, and then my website will be up!
Wednesday, March 7, 2007
pilaf, dolma, bibs, and lesson plans
Here's how my day goes:
6:00 wake up to baby crying (peeking at me from the crib) four year old asking for cheerios, and husband running out the door to go to sunnyvale.
between 6:00 and 8:00, I manage to feed the baby (bottle and solids) dress the four year old into her uniform and feed her cheerios. While she eats honey nut cheerios in my bed in front of pbs kids (I gauge how much time I have until I have to leave in half hour increments, Arthur, Caillou, Barney, Curious George) and once I hear the Curious George song I know it's time to leave. I shower, cook shell pasta with peas and white sauce for my daughter's lunch, boil water to heat up the thermos, and manage to gulp my two huge mugs of coffee) Lucky I haven't smoked in ten years, I now feel for the woman described in the Stones song "Mother's Little Helper" (I'm negative today, this isn't always the case). Mother needs something today to calm her down...frozen steak and cake and all.
My husband and I have become responsible people now. I know this doesn't pertain to teaching, but it does. He was an English teacher for 10 years before becoming an administrator. He was probably the best English teacher hands down that you would ever see, drove a harley, a film school degree, and had an earring. Now he wears eccos and clarks, button down collar shirts and khakis. I guess it's nice because it pays the mortgage, school tuition, and all that stuff. They guy knows all of Whitman's song of myself by heart and has lesson plans that integrate grouping and peer editing and different genre stuff, etc. Poor guy. I can't even ask him the "how was your day" it's just "grab the older one, give her a bath while i feed the younger one and then when they are in bed i do my homework and lessons. I'm starting to get sick of this program.
Then after getting home from dropping off the older one, I manage to play with the younger one a little before it's her nap time and thankfully, the nanny comes over and I can start completing my work for teaching/homework/readings for class/etc. Then I'm out the door. God bless her. If it wasn't for my mom, my nanny, my dad, and my husband, there's no way in hell i could do this. I guess it does take a village.
Frankly, the classroom is the happiest, least chaotic, most joyful part of the day. I hate to admit it. All my friends were right when I was a stay at home mom that although the grind is very hard, being at work is a million times easier than the home front. I actually get to sit. I actually get to teach. I get to walk around and have students smile when something clicks. I know it's mushy, but I love the classroom. I even don't mind grading papers. I feel euphoric when I walk down the halls and the two kids basically written off by the school yell, HEY "my name" how are you! Buy a malt!"
When people start looking at you and wondering if you are ok you start to wonder why. I'm actually fine. I am counting the days until this program is over. I love what I am learning, but I really don't know how much longer I can cut myself off from my family, reading theoretical mumbo jumbo and discussing meaningless crap in my classes. I've done the grad school thing already, I've discussed bakhtin ad nauseum, written all kinds of thesis work, done the "prove yourself to the professor" thing already. I'm too old and settled for this. I just want to teach and come home and be mom. That's that.
Now I have to do some kind of homework for tomorrow night's class. I've been tutoring my nanny who is a non-English speaker (we speak Armenian).
And, back to the pilaf. I burned the pilaf today. great job. Not a big deal really, except when you have a kid who wants pilaf with noodles like the kind my nana made and you are washing the baby and your husband comes home and asks if you were planning on burning the house down. the salmon tasted nasty and I ate soy chips while telling my daughter to eat her broccoli. now I have to work on grouping my students for their odyssey unit. my shakespeare unit is next week and i am building a blog and website for it.
If I don't have a nervous breakdown by the end of the semester, I am truly super woman. I should just have a big S on my shirt.
6:00 wake up to baby crying (peeking at me from the crib) four year old asking for cheerios, and husband running out the door to go to sunnyvale.
between 6:00 and 8:00, I manage to feed the baby (bottle and solids) dress the four year old into her uniform and feed her cheerios. While she eats honey nut cheerios in my bed in front of pbs kids (I gauge how much time I have until I have to leave in half hour increments, Arthur, Caillou, Barney, Curious George) and once I hear the Curious George song I know it's time to leave. I shower, cook shell pasta with peas and white sauce for my daughter's lunch, boil water to heat up the thermos, and manage to gulp my two huge mugs of coffee) Lucky I haven't smoked in ten years, I now feel for the woman described in the Stones song "Mother's Little Helper" (I'm negative today, this isn't always the case). Mother needs something today to calm her down...frozen steak and cake and all.
My husband and I have become responsible people now. I know this doesn't pertain to teaching, but it does. He was an English teacher for 10 years before becoming an administrator. He was probably the best English teacher hands down that you would ever see, drove a harley, a film school degree, and had an earring. Now he wears eccos and clarks, button down collar shirts and khakis. I guess it's nice because it pays the mortgage, school tuition, and all that stuff. They guy knows all of Whitman's song of myself by heart and has lesson plans that integrate grouping and peer editing and different genre stuff, etc. Poor guy. I can't even ask him the "how was your day" it's just "grab the older one, give her a bath while i feed the younger one and then when they are in bed i do my homework and lessons. I'm starting to get sick of this program.
Then after getting home from dropping off the older one, I manage to play with the younger one a little before it's her nap time and thankfully, the nanny comes over and I can start completing my work for teaching/homework/readings for class/etc. Then I'm out the door. God bless her. If it wasn't for my mom, my nanny, my dad, and my husband, there's no way in hell i could do this. I guess it does take a village.
Frankly, the classroom is the happiest, least chaotic, most joyful part of the day. I hate to admit it. All my friends were right when I was a stay at home mom that although the grind is very hard, being at work is a million times easier than the home front. I actually get to sit. I actually get to teach. I get to walk around and have students smile when something clicks. I know it's mushy, but I love the classroom. I even don't mind grading papers. I feel euphoric when I walk down the halls and the two kids basically written off by the school yell, HEY "my name" how are you! Buy a malt!"
When people start looking at you and wondering if you are ok you start to wonder why. I'm actually fine. I am counting the days until this program is over. I love what I am learning, but I really don't know how much longer I can cut myself off from my family, reading theoretical mumbo jumbo and discussing meaningless crap in my classes. I've done the grad school thing already, I've discussed bakhtin ad nauseum, written all kinds of thesis work, done the "prove yourself to the professor" thing already. I'm too old and settled for this. I just want to teach and come home and be mom. That's that.
Now I have to do some kind of homework for tomorrow night's class. I've been tutoring my nanny who is a non-English speaker (we speak Armenian).
And, back to the pilaf. I burned the pilaf today. great job. Not a big deal really, except when you have a kid who wants pilaf with noodles like the kind my nana made and you are washing the baby and your husband comes home and asks if you were planning on burning the house down. the salmon tasted nasty and I ate soy chips while telling my daughter to eat her broccoli. now I have to work on grouping my students for their odyssey unit. my shakespeare unit is next week and i am building a blog and website for it.
If I don't have a nervous breakdown by the end of the semester, I am truly super woman. I should just have a big S on my shirt.
Friday, March 2, 2007
Master teacher strikes again
Well, today my master teacher got passive aggressive again. I took the higher road and ignored it, but I'm starting to think she's just plain stupid.
I was introducing the students to the language of the Odyssey - having a blast assigning their "anonymous" blog names as greek characters, and i then passed over ogygia - which I pronounced the greek way, but she decided to "correct" my Greek. No biggy, but it was the umpteenth time she had tried to correct me in front of students. So I just said, "hey class, you have the mythology diva here, and she's teaching you tomorrow." (I was going to be out sick the next day and my master teacher knew that because I've been sick as a dog) and then she said, "oh no, you are the mythology diva" etc etc. What a stupid woman.
Anyway, when she saw that I didn't really care or pay any attention to her correction, I guess it worked because she apologized after class (quite profusely) and I just said it's ok and I don't care. I guess it's like the scene from the Godfather - "Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer."
So much for this week. I'm tired.
I was introducing the students to the language of the Odyssey - having a blast assigning their "anonymous" blog names as greek characters, and i then passed over ogygia - which I pronounced the greek way, but she decided to "correct" my Greek. No biggy, but it was the umpteenth time she had tried to correct me in front of students. So I just said, "hey class, you have the mythology diva here, and she's teaching you tomorrow." (I was going to be out sick the next day and my master teacher knew that because I've been sick as a dog) and then she said, "oh no, you are the mythology diva" etc etc. What a stupid woman.
Anyway, when she saw that I didn't really care or pay any attention to her correction, I guess it worked because she apologized after class (quite profusely) and I just said it's ok and I don't care. I guess it's like the scene from the Godfather - "Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer."
So much for this week. I'm tired.
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