ahhhhh
This is so nice. I don't know if anyone will read this, but if anyone does, go ahead, comment away, I'll be posting on this blog for a while.
I remember an old ren and stimpy episode where ren says "i'll just sit back and teenk plezant tots....chicken pot pie, chocolate covered raisins, glazed ham!" Life is so good without this damn credential program. I am so happy. I have time to correct, time to play with my kids, time to talk to my husband, time to do nothing. I still am reeling over the fact that I did this with an infant (who is celebrating her first birthday today) and could have possibly ruined my marriage had I not been cognizant of the fact that this would end in May, and went from super-uber mom to fish fingers and tater tots. My mom caught me red handed, I was actually cooking organic frozen fish sticks. She dropped by (ah, the benefits of having a big family who is always in your face) and she gave me the guilt trip of the century. The woman is super woman. She is a high power broker and always managed to have a great meal ready at night. (However, she also was never home in the evenings and was always working, but they were chasing the american dream - cannot blame your parents, they gave birth to you and that's just that.)
Oh well, those days are over. Today I even admitted to my husband that my cooking has been really, really bad lately, and for the first time, the poor dude agreed. I made risotto that could have been used as tile grout, and the chicken with pomegranate tasted like the chicken at a fast food restaurant. At least I forced my daughter to eat peas and then we had cake.
The key thing I learned this year is that I have to find a way to balance all this. Family life, teaching, intellectual endeavors like writing and keeping up with my reading, and staying sane. Yay moms.
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Monday, May 14, 2007
I'm done.
I have now handed in my Icap (a friend brilliantly titled it an ICRAP) and I have to say, as much as I think the satirical title is hilarious, after looking at this, I'm a bit pleased!
Since i came to this program with a few years of teaching experience, I thought I just needed the "paper" and should go through the motions. However, I have really learned a lot about long term planning, assessment, enduring understandings, and the importance of formative assessments.
Also, it also put some things in perspective. Whether we like it or not, communication is going to be the number one asset as the world becomes even more globalized, and I believe that teaching is going to go through a major paradigm shift in the next decade. I don't think bilingual cuts it anymore - my daughters will learn English, Armenian, and I will also like them to learn Mandarin and Spanish. Technology, whether you like it or not, is there and we better utilize it as another "discourse" because that's just where everything is going. Look at economics! Interest rates are bound to fly through the roof - decreasing the "quality" of our lifestyle, and in the end, economists like to cut the first thing, education. That said, we need to not get caught up with our subject, but always think about the global impact of teaching - whether you teach English, Math, or Art.
That said, I am happy this is over - I don't think what we learned is algorithmic, it will change, and hopefully, we can change with it!
Since i came to this program with a few years of teaching experience, I thought I just needed the "paper" and should go through the motions. However, I have really learned a lot about long term planning, assessment, enduring understandings, and the importance of formative assessments.
Also, it also put some things in perspective. Whether we like it or not, communication is going to be the number one asset as the world becomes even more globalized, and I believe that teaching is going to go through a major paradigm shift in the next decade. I don't think bilingual cuts it anymore - my daughters will learn English, Armenian, and I will also like them to learn Mandarin and Spanish. Technology, whether you like it or not, is there and we better utilize it as another "discourse" because that's just where everything is going. Look at economics! Interest rates are bound to fly through the roof - decreasing the "quality" of our lifestyle, and in the end, economists like to cut the first thing, education. That said, we need to not get caught up with our subject, but always think about the global impact of teaching - whether you teach English, Math, or Art.
That said, I am happy this is over - I don't think what we learned is algorithmic, it will change, and hopefully, we can change with it!
Sunday, May 6, 2007
Reflection or Refraction?
We are supposed to be reflective practitioners, but when does "reflection" become REFRACTION. Change in direction, change in speed - that is what is happening!
Some people are posting that they are burnt out and have senioritis. I agree. I agree with all of it, that we all come to class and like to interact with our friends. I have met some truly wonderful people in this program. I will actually miss the interaction and hope that i will have such friends when I begin working, IF I START WORKING.
Since I am a writer, I can just bury myself in my writing and live off grants. But how myopic does that get? My new book is dealing with discourse, genocide and string theory. It's done and I am waiting for yes and no letters from certain publishers.
My dad and I were discussing this (our dinner conversations often entail such grueling discussions as he is a nuclear/structural engineer) and he thinks it's a bunch of bullshit. Maybe he is right, fermions and bosons are it, etc. and spin being a very "cool" thing that isn't real science. Maybe. Should have gone into science. Forget art, poetry and all that stuff. Maybe the girls will go into physics and follow the family path of quantum physics, engineering and the like. I doubt it! Maybe after getting a PhD in physics they'll choose to go into options and derivatives, only to find that they want to be a teacher or something.
These reflections are becoming very tedious really. It's making me cynical, negative, and inert.
It's all a bunch of neural circuitry anyway.
Some people are posting that they are burnt out and have senioritis. I agree. I agree with all of it, that we all come to class and like to interact with our friends. I have met some truly wonderful people in this program. I will actually miss the interaction and hope that i will have such friends when I begin working, IF I START WORKING.
Since I am a writer, I can just bury myself in my writing and live off grants. But how myopic does that get? My new book is dealing with discourse, genocide and string theory. It's done and I am waiting for yes and no letters from certain publishers.
My dad and I were discussing this (our dinner conversations often entail such grueling discussions as he is a nuclear/structural engineer) and he thinks it's a bunch of bullshit. Maybe he is right, fermions and bosons are it, etc. and spin being a very "cool" thing that isn't real science. Maybe. Should have gone into science. Forget art, poetry and all that stuff. Maybe the girls will go into physics and follow the family path of quantum physics, engineering and the like. I doubt it! Maybe after getting a PhD in physics they'll choose to go into options and derivatives, only to find that they want to be a teacher or something.
These reflections are becoming very tedious really. It's making me cynical, negative, and inert.
It's all a bunch of neural circuitry anyway.
Wednesday, May 2, 2007
my first breakdown
So, today, in the English office, mrs. tough one - no one bugs me - everything is fine - me, stressed? lady CRIES. Yessiree. One teacher came and asked me how I was. I couldn't speak. And then it started, the whole feeling like my face would become a potato and the choking feeling. Then, my eyes welled up. This was a very embarrassing moment. She was shocked and asked me how I was. I couldn't speak. I just told her the the happiest place is my classroom. Period. I guess that is good. THe show goes on. When I was prodded, I told her about my husband's health thing and I just started whimpering like an idiot. She was so nice. Wish I had her as a master teacher.
I still have no idea what will happen. He has a doctor's appt at 5 on friday. Maybe he should have stuck with teaching. Everyone says he will be a superintendent. I don't give a flying shit. I just want him to read his poetry and teach at this point. Even if he goes back to teaching he will make his administrator's salary which where he is, is three times what I will be making next year. So, the kids just won't go to the conservatory for piano lessons. big fucking deal. I even told him to see about finding a job closer to where we live. I guess that is a possibility. it's just not worth it.
which is a very strange thing because I was actually thinking of going into admin. Not a VP or P type thing, but maybe something having to do with curriculum since that is what i did in my old district.
Maybe i should just teach at a community college.
Maybe I should just be a stay at home mom again. I can roll dolmas, go on playdates with other moms, go to the park, eat ice cream and jump on the bed while I read curious george, finger paint, and have a smoke at night reading anne carson. However, "What will i be when I grow up?"
I still have no idea what will happen. He has a doctor's appt at 5 on friday. Maybe he should have stuck with teaching. Everyone says he will be a superintendent. I don't give a flying shit. I just want him to read his poetry and teach at this point. Even if he goes back to teaching he will make his administrator's salary which where he is, is three times what I will be making next year. So, the kids just won't go to the conservatory for piano lessons. big fucking deal. I even told him to see about finding a job closer to where we live. I guess that is a possibility. it's just not worth it.
which is a very strange thing because I was actually thinking of going into admin. Not a VP or P type thing, but maybe something having to do with curriculum since that is what i did in my old district.
Maybe i should just teach at a community college.
Maybe I should just be a stay at home mom again. I can roll dolmas, go on playdates with other moms, go to the park, eat ice cream and jump on the bed while I read curious george, finger paint, and have a smoke at night reading anne carson. However, "What will i be when I grow up?"
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