ahhhhh
This is so nice. I don't know if anyone will read this, but if anyone does, go ahead, comment away, I'll be posting on this blog for a while.
I remember an old ren and stimpy episode where ren says "i'll just sit back and teenk plezant tots....chicken pot pie, chocolate covered raisins, glazed ham!" Life is so good without this damn credential program. I am so happy. I have time to correct, time to play with my kids, time to talk to my husband, time to do nothing. I still am reeling over the fact that I did this with an infant (who is celebrating her first birthday today) and could have possibly ruined my marriage had I not been cognizant of the fact that this would end in May, and went from super-uber mom to fish fingers and tater tots. My mom caught me red handed, I was actually cooking organic frozen fish sticks. She dropped by (ah, the benefits of having a big family who is always in your face) and she gave me the guilt trip of the century. The woman is super woman. She is a high power broker and always managed to have a great meal ready at night. (However, she also was never home in the evenings and was always working, but they were chasing the american dream - cannot blame your parents, they gave birth to you and that's just that.)
Oh well, those days are over. Today I even admitted to my husband that my cooking has been really, really bad lately, and for the first time, the poor dude agreed. I made risotto that could have been used as tile grout, and the chicken with pomegranate tasted like the chicken at a fast food restaurant. At least I forced my daughter to eat peas and then we had cake.
The key thing I learned this year is that I have to find a way to balance all this. Family life, teaching, intellectual endeavors like writing and keeping up with my reading, and staying sane. Yay moms.
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Monday, May 14, 2007
I'm done.
I have now handed in my Icap (a friend brilliantly titled it an ICRAP) and I have to say, as much as I think the satirical title is hilarious, after looking at this, I'm a bit pleased!
Since i came to this program with a few years of teaching experience, I thought I just needed the "paper" and should go through the motions. However, I have really learned a lot about long term planning, assessment, enduring understandings, and the importance of formative assessments.
Also, it also put some things in perspective. Whether we like it or not, communication is going to be the number one asset as the world becomes even more globalized, and I believe that teaching is going to go through a major paradigm shift in the next decade. I don't think bilingual cuts it anymore - my daughters will learn English, Armenian, and I will also like them to learn Mandarin and Spanish. Technology, whether you like it or not, is there and we better utilize it as another "discourse" because that's just where everything is going. Look at economics! Interest rates are bound to fly through the roof - decreasing the "quality" of our lifestyle, and in the end, economists like to cut the first thing, education. That said, we need to not get caught up with our subject, but always think about the global impact of teaching - whether you teach English, Math, or Art.
That said, I am happy this is over - I don't think what we learned is algorithmic, it will change, and hopefully, we can change with it!
Since i came to this program with a few years of teaching experience, I thought I just needed the "paper" and should go through the motions. However, I have really learned a lot about long term planning, assessment, enduring understandings, and the importance of formative assessments.
Also, it also put some things in perspective. Whether we like it or not, communication is going to be the number one asset as the world becomes even more globalized, and I believe that teaching is going to go through a major paradigm shift in the next decade. I don't think bilingual cuts it anymore - my daughters will learn English, Armenian, and I will also like them to learn Mandarin and Spanish. Technology, whether you like it or not, is there and we better utilize it as another "discourse" because that's just where everything is going. Look at economics! Interest rates are bound to fly through the roof - decreasing the "quality" of our lifestyle, and in the end, economists like to cut the first thing, education. That said, we need to not get caught up with our subject, but always think about the global impact of teaching - whether you teach English, Math, or Art.
That said, I am happy this is over - I don't think what we learned is algorithmic, it will change, and hopefully, we can change with it!
Sunday, May 6, 2007
Reflection or Refraction?
We are supposed to be reflective practitioners, but when does "reflection" become REFRACTION. Change in direction, change in speed - that is what is happening!
Some people are posting that they are burnt out and have senioritis. I agree. I agree with all of it, that we all come to class and like to interact with our friends. I have met some truly wonderful people in this program. I will actually miss the interaction and hope that i will have such friends when I begin working, IF I START WORKING.
Since I am a writer, I can just bury myself in my writing and live off grants. But how myopic does that get? My new book is dealing with discourse, genocide and string theory. It's done and I am waiting for yes and no letters from certain publishers.
My dad and I were discussing this (our dinner conversations often entail such grueling discussions as he is a nuclear/structural engineer) and he thinks it's a bunch of bullshit. Maybe he is right, fermions and bosons are it, etc. and spin being a very "cool" thing that isn't real science. Maybe. Should have gone into science. Forget art, poetry and all that stuff. Maybe the girls will go into physics and follow the family path of quantum physics, engineering and the like. I doubt it! Maybe after getting a PhD in physics they'll choose to go into options and derivatives, only to find that they want to be a teacher or something.
These reflections are becoming very tedious really. It's making me cynical, negative, and inert.
It's all a bunch of neural circuitry anyway.
Some people are posting that they are burnt out and have senioritis. I agree. I agree with all of it, that we all come to class and like to interact with our friends. I have met some truly wonderful people in this program. I will actually miss the interaction and hope that i will have such friends when I begin working, IF I START WORKING.
Since I am a writer, I can just bury myself in my writing and live off grants. But how myopic does that get? My new book is dealing with discourse, genocide and string theory. It's done and I am waiting for yes and no letters from certain publishers.
My dad and I were discussing this (our dinner conversations often entail such grueling discussions as he is a nuclear/structural engineer) and he thinks it's a bunch of bullshit. Maybe he is right, fermions and bosons are it, etc. and spin being a very "cool" thing that isn't real science. Maybe. Should have gone into science. Forget art, poetry and all that stuff. Maybe the girls will go into physics and follow the family path of quantum physics, engineering and the like. I doubt it! Maybe after getting a PhD in physics they'll choose to go into options and derivatives, only to find that they want to be a teacher or something.
These reflections are becoming very tedious really. It's making me cynical, negative, and inert.
It's all a bunch of neural circuitry anyway.
Wednesday, May 2, 2007
my first breakdown
So, today, in the English office, mrs. tough one - no one bugs me - everything is fine - me, stressed? lady CRIES. Yessiree. One teacher came and asked me how I was. I couldn't speak. And then it started, the whole feeling like my face would become a potato and the choking feeling. Then, my eyes welled up. This was a very embarrassing moment. She was shocked and asked me how I was. I couldn't speak. I just told her the the happiest place is my classroom. Period. I guess that is good. THe show goes on. When I was prodded, I told her about my husband's health thing and I just started whimpering like an idiot. She was so nice. Wish I had her as a master teacher.
I still have no idea what will happen. He has a doctor's appt at 5 on friday. Maybe he should have stuck with teaching. Everyone says he will be a superintendent. I don't give a flying shit. I just want him to read his poetry and teach at this point. Even if he goes back to teaching he will make his administrator's salary which where he is, is three times what I will be making next year. So, the kids just won't go to the conservatory for piano lessons. big fucking deal. I even told him to see about finding a job closer to where we live. I guess that is a possibility. it's just not worth it.
which is a very strange thing because I was actually thinking of going into admin. Not a VP or P type thing, but maybe something having to do with curriculum since that is what i did in my old district.
Maybe i should just teach at a community college.
Maybe I should just be a stay at home mom again. I can roll dolmas, go on playdates with other moms, go to the park, eat ice cream and jump on the bed while I read curious george, finger paint, and have a smoke at night reading anne carson. However, "What will i be when I grow up?"
I still have no idea what will happen. He has a doctor's appt at 5 on friday. Maybe he should have stuck with teaching. Everyone says he will be a superintendent. I don't give a flying shit. I just want him to read his poetry and teach at this point. Even if he goes back to teaching he will make his administrator's salary which where he is, is three times what I will be making next year. So, the kids just won't go to the conservatory for piano lessons. big fucking deal. I even told him to see about finding a job closer to where we live. I guess that is a possibility. it's just not worth it.
which is a very strange thing because I was actually thinking of going into admin. Not a VP or P type thing, but maybe something having to do with curriculum since that is what i did in my old district.
Maybe i should just teach at a community college.
Maybe I should just be a stay at home mom again. I can roll dolmas, go on playdates with other moms, go to the park, eat ice cream and jump on the bed while I read curious george, finger paint, and have a smoke at night reading anne carson. However, "What will i be when I grow up?"
Saturday, April 28, 2007
TPE HELL
Today, I have spent the whole day working on my TPE reflections. I am close to being done with 8, and working on 9. I am hoping to be done with this drivel by tomorrow evening.
I have a student who is constantly hanging around me when I am in my classroom during my free period. She is a wonderful kid. She is really into anime and poetry, and what was really interesting was that she liked my three day solo so much last semester that she and her friend signed up for my class this semester. Anyway, she always comes in with a treat or just to talk or just to do homework while I prep.
Last week after the VTECH shootings, I told the kids to just be happy and live life to the fullest because you can't predict what is going to happen. I even said, "I can't promise you that a mango won't fly through that window right now, so have fun, don't worry, study har, sometimes we are not in control of the craziness around us, and be glad it's a nice day."
The student then came to me and asked me if I had heard of a band called the Guillemots and I said no. She said that there is a song she would like to bring me the next day. I told her that would be swell, as long is it's not a song with profanity. Anyway, the next day she brought this beautiful drawing and the lyrics of the song. Then she said that something I said in class reminded her of the song. I was so moved! This is why I love this job, these serendipitous moments when kids try to connect to the teacher. I don't even remember what I said, but I guess it made an impression. I just remember the mango thing because the kids laughed. What a deep kid.
Anyway, I went home and that night, I went on itunes and there it was. It was already on my ipod and I didn't know it because it was one of those "free songs" once. Well, I listened to the song. I guess it must be the line about being thankful for facing the day and that you don't know when these things can happen to you. Quite interesting actually, and I actually like the song. What a great kid.
I guess that day is here, because my husband had to go to the doctor and has a strange growth on his throat. They don't know what it is, that it may be a thyroid issue and have to run some tests. There is the mango. I'm just looking forward to the end of this program. I'm finishing these TPEs because I don't know what will happen tomorrow. I think i'll start smoking.
I have a student who is constantly hanging around me when I am in my classroom during my free period. She is a wonderful kid. She is really into anime and poetry, and what was really interesting was that she liked my three day solo so much last semester that she and her friend signed up for my class this semester. Anyway, she always comes in with a treat or just to talk or just to do homework while I prep.
Last week after the VTECH shootings, I told the kids to just be happy and live life to the fullest because you can't predict what is going to happen. I even said, "I can't promise you that a mango won't fly through that window right now, so have fun, don't worry, study har, sometimes we are not in control of the craziness around us, and be glad it's a nice day."
The student then came to me and asked me if I had heard of a band called the Guillemots and I said no. She said that there is a song she would like to bring me the next day. I told her that would be swell, as long is it's not a song with profanity. Anyway, the next day she brought this beautiful drawing and the lyrics of the song. Then she said that something I said in class reminded her of the song. I was so moved! This is why I love this job, these serendipitous moments when kids try to connect to the teacher. I don't even remember what I said, but I guess it made an impression. I just remember the mango thing because the kids laughed. What a deep kid.
Anyway, I went home and that night, I went on itunes and there it was. It was already on my ipod and I didn't know it because it was one of those "free songs" once. Well, I listened to the song. I guess it must be the line about being thankful for facing the day and that you don't know when these things can happen to you. Quite interesting actually, and I actually like the song. What a great kid.
I guess that day is here, because my husband had to go to the doctor and has a strange growth on his throat. They don't know what it is, that it may be a thyroid issue and have to run some tests. There is the mango. I'm just looking forward to the end of this program. I'm finishing these TPEs because I don't know what will happen tomorrow. I think i'll start smoking.
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Three cheers for nerds.
I think the most "at risk" kids are nerds, specifically adolescent female nerds. I know, because I was one, and I have made it my personal goal to address the needs of these girls. No one ever pays any attention to them because they're generally well behaved, nice, smart, quiet, and don't pose a problem in the classroom. Ask any teacher - they spend the most time with the downtrodden or obnoxious boys who are generally going to choose to be downtrodden in the future.
Girls, smart ones, usually are at risk for the following:
A) dumbing down because they are insecure over the fact that they are smart
B) dumbing down especially in front of some stupid, ridiculous teenage boy that they have a crush on. And generally, that boy is not as smart as they are.
C) being ignored, being the nameless, the anonymous, the kid you never remember
D) being insecure about the fact that they like nerdy things and don't have tattoos or t-shirts that blurt out what they like
E) thinking that they are different (in a bad way)
F) changing the way they are (like Frank Zappa said, Dope=you are what you use.
So, I have made a point to show off how nerdy I am by telling my students the following:
A) I used to belong to a pen club (I even brought my pen collection)
B) I used to read a thesaurus, highlighting the terms I thought I may need one day
C) as a teenager, I used to bake and dreamt of being a baker, calling my company "Hye Pies" (Hye=Armenian (in armenian) I still make a kick-ass apple plum tart and plan on bringing some for my students.
D) my mom had to ask my prom date's mother (at 22nd and Irving Market) if he would go to the prom with me. I begged not to go, and then my best friend Mia and I ended up sitting at the prom and watching our prom dates dance with other girls. This discussion came about when some kids were 'bummed out" that they didn't receive valentine cards and weren't going to THE DANCE. I told them "when life has you chewing on life's gristle, just put your lips together, and give a whistle!" My best friend is now an attorney in SF.
E) At summer camp, I used to take a tool called "a do it yourself star finder" and would gather my armenian "nerd" friends at AYF Camp in the angeles forest mountains and created a star club at night. My dad made the star finder for me as he is an engineer and felt sorry for me that I was not so good at math. Perhaps studying constellations would help.
F) My best friend's father invented gatorade and we used to hang out at summer studies listening to leonard cohen sitting at emily diskinson's grave at parties in Amherst.
It felt so cathartic to tell my students this!!! Two of the students now come to my classroom to hang out during their free mod. Also, as the mom of two daughters, I am probably bringing up two more nerdy girls (my four year old just told me that she put her doll in a very inconspicuous place.)
I read an article on cnn.com that there is a movement to work with these girls. So, my way of working with these girls is to give them the attention they deserve (while not ignoring the needs of others) and make sure that they understand how much power they have. Even if they stay home on fridays watching TV while other kids are out, they will be a-ok and often, much better off than their peers. I am sick of giving so much attention to the kids who don't deserve it.
Girls, smart ones, usually are at risk for the following:
A) dumbing down because they are insecure over the fact that they are smart
B) dumbing down especially in front of some stupid, ridiculous teenage boy that they have a crush on. And generally, that boy is not as smart as they are.
C) being ignored, being the nameless, the anonymous, the kid you never remember
D) being insecure about the fact that they like nerdy things and don't have tattoos or t-shirts that blurt out what they like
E) thinking that they are different (in a bad way)
F) changing the way they are (like Frank Zappa said, Dope=you are what you use.
So, I have made a point to show off how nerdy I am by telling my students the following:
A) I used to belong to a pen club (I even brought my pen collection)
B) I used to read a thesaurus, highlighting the terms I thought I may need one day
C) as a teenager, I used to bake and dreamt of being a baker, calling my company "Hye Pies" (Hye=Armenian (in armenian) I still make a kick-ass apple plum tart and plan on bringing some for my students.
D) my mom had to ask my prom date's mother (at 22nd and Irving Market) if he would go to the prom with me. I begged not to go, and then my best friend Mia and I ended up sitting at the prom and watching our prom dates dance with other girls. This discussion came about when some kids were 'bummed out" that they didn't receive valentine cards and weren't going to THE DANCE. I told them "when life has you chewing on life's gristle, just put your lips together, and give a whistle!" My best friend is now an attorney in SF.
E) At summer camp, I used to take a tool called "a do it yourself star finder" and would gather my armenian "nerd" friends at AYF Camp in the angeles forest mountains and created a star club at night. My dad made the star finder for me as he is an engineer and felt sorry for me that I was not so good at math. Perhaps studying constellations would help.
F) My best friend's father invented gatorade and we used to hang out at summer studies listening to leonard cohen sitting at emily diskinson's grave at parties in Amherst.
It felt so cathartic to tell my students this!!! Two of the students now come to my classroom to hang out during their free mod. Also, as the mom of two daughters, I am probably bringing up two more nerdy girls (my four year old just told me that she put her doll in a very inconspicuous place.)
I read an article on cnn.com that there is a movement to work with these girls. So, my way of working with these girls is to give them the attention they deserve (while not ignoring the needs of others) and make sure that they understand how much power they have. Even if they stay home on fridays watching TV while other kids are out, they will be a-ok and often, much better off than their peers. I am sick of giving so much attention to the kids who don't deserve it.
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
April 24, 1915 = two poems by Siamanto
From Carolyn Forche's "Against Forgetting: 20th Century Poetry of Witness"
This poem is by Siamanto, one of the poets executed on April 24, 1915 after witnessing the beginnings of what would be the first genocide of the 20th Century. My grandparents escaped these exact purges, my paternal grandfather becoming a warrior (guerrilla) and my grandmother becoming a nurse for the American missionaries in Mesopotamia. It is one of the first witness poems of the 20th century.
Siamanto(Adom Yarjanian)- 1878-1915
The Dance
Her blue eyes, drowned in tears,
the German witness to the horrors tried
to describe the ashfields where the Armenian life had died:
"This untellable thing I'm trying to say
I saw with my pitiless human eyes
from the hellish window of my safe house.
While I gnashed my teeth in terror and frustration
my eyes stayed open and pitiless.
I saw a garden city change into ash heaps.
Corpses piled to the tops of trees.
And from the waters, from the springs,
from the brooks and from the roads,
the roar of your blood.
It is the voice of that blood that still speaks
in my heart. Don't be disgusted,
but I have to tell this story
so that people understand the crimes
men do to men. Let all the hearts of the world hear.
That morning with death's shadows was a Sunday,
the first useless Sunday to rise over those bodies.
I had been in my room all night, tending,
from evening until morning, a girl I knew
stabbed by knives. I bent over her agony
wetting her death with my tears.
Suddenly I heard from a distance
a black mob of men, whipping, leading twenty girls.
Twenty young women, pushed into my vineyard
while the men sang lewd songs
'When we beat the drum, you dance!'
And their whips began to crack ferociously
against the flesh of the Armenian women
who longed for death. Twenty
of them, hand in hand, began their dance.
Tears flowed from their eyes, as if from wounds.
And I envied the dying girl
who could not see, but who cursed
with her harsh breathing, the universe,
poor beautiful Armenian girl
giving wings to her dove white soul,
while I shook my fists in vain against
the mob below. 'You must dance, faithless heathen
beauties. Dance, with open breasts, to death,
smiling at us without complaints!
Fatigue is not for you. Nor modesty.
All the way to death, dance, with lust, with lewdness.
Our eyes are thirsty for your forms and for your deaths.
Twenty handsome girls fell to the ground exhausted.
Stand up' the roar thundered behind the snakelike
whirling swords. Someone brought a bucket
then, of kerosene. Oh, human justice
I spit at your forehead. Then they
doused those twenty brides, shouting
'You must dance. And here's a fragrance
Arabia does not have.' And with a torch,
set on fire the naked flesh.
The charred corpses rolled toward death
through the dancing. From my fright
I shuttered the window as if against
a hurricane. And asked the dead girl in the room,
'How shall I dig out these eyes of mine. How?'"
(1909)
(translated by Diana Der Hovanessian & Marzbed Margossian)
.....and this evening before sunset
all of you will go back to your houses,
whether they are mud or marble,
and clamly close the treacherous
shutters of your windows.
Shut them from the wicked Capital,
shut them to the face of humanity,
and to the face of your god...
Even the lamp on your table
will be extinguished
by the whispers of your clear soul.
-by Siamanto
This poem is by Siamanto, one of the poets executed on April 24, 1915 after witnessing the beginnings of what would be the first genocide of the 20th Century. My grandparents escaped these exact purges, my paternal grandfather becoming a warrior (guerrilla) and my grandmother becoming a nurse for the American missionaries in Mesopotamia. It is one of the first witness poems of the 20th century.
Siamanto(Adom Yarjanian)- 1878-1915
The Dance
Her blue eyes, drowned in tears,
the German witness to the horrors tried
to describe the ashfields where the Armenian life had died:
"This untellable thing I'm trying to say
I saw with my pitiless human eyes
from the hellish window of my safe house.
While I gnashed my teeth in terror and frustration
my eyes stayed open and pitiless.
I saw a garden city change into ash heaps.
Corpses piled to the tops of trees.
And from the waters, from the springs,
from the brooks and from the roads,
the roar of your blood.
It is the voice of that blood that still speaks
in my heart. Don't be disgusted,
but I have to tell this story
so that people understand the crimes
men do to men. Let all the hearts of the world hear.
That morning with death's shadows was a Sunday,
the first useless Sunday to rise over those bodies.
I had been in my room all night, tending,
from evening until morning, a girl I knew
stabbed by knives. I bent over her agony
wetting her death with my tears.
Suddenly I heard from a distance
a black mob of men, whipping, leading twenty girls.
Twenty young women, pushed into my vineyard
while the men sang lewd songs
'When we beat the drum, you dance!'
And their whips began to crack ferociously
against the flesh of the Armenian women
who longed for death. Twenty
of them, hand in hand, began their dance.
Tears flowed from their eyes, as if from wounds.
And I envied the dying girl
who could not see, but who cursed
with her harsh breathing, the universe,
poor beautiful Armenian girl
giving wings to her dove white soul,
while I shook my fists in vain against
the mob below. 'You must dance, faithless heathen
beauties. Dance, with open breasts, to death,
smiling at us without complaints!
Fatigue is not for you. Nor modesty.
All the way to death, dance, with lust, with lewdness.
Our eyes are thirsty for your forms and for your deaths.
Twenty handsome girls fell to the ground exhausted.
Stand up' the roar thundered behind the snakelike
whirling swords. Someone brought a bucket
then, of kerosene. Oh, human justice
I spit at your forehead. Then they
doused those twenty brides, shouting
'You must dance. And here's a fragrance
Arabia does not have.' And with a torch,
set on fire the naked flesh.
The charred corpses rolled toward death
through the dancing. From my fright
I shuttered the window as if against
a hurricane. And asked the dead girl in the room,
'How shall I dig out these eyes of mine. How?'"
(1909)
(translated by Diana Der Hovanessian & Marzbed Margossian)
.....and this evening before sunset
all of you will go back to your houses,
whether they are mud or marble,
and clamly close the treacherous
shutters of your windows.
Shut them from the wicked Capital,
shut them to the face of humanity,
and to the face of your god...
Even the lamp on your table
will be extinguished
by the whispers of your clear soul.
-by Siamanto
Monday, April 23, 2007
Master Teacher Blues
My master teacher is a sad woman. I took the high road early in the year, listened to her, watched her teach, even brought her some gifts because I thought she was depressed and felt sorry for her, listened to her talk about her family problems, listened, listened, listened. I even brought her baklava, homemade at that.
I also listened to her put me down in her passive aggressive ways, talk about how people who speak a foreign language at home will never "cut it" in teaching or as students, correct me in front of the whole class when I called "Calliope" (KA-LEE-OH-PEE) which is the proper way to say the term (not Cuh-lye-oh-pee) told me that I would be better in middle school, metacognitive stuff "dumbs down lowell" that I'm too easy a grader, etc etc etc. People would come up to me and ask and I would say "oh, it's fine" etc etc. Then I would also get comments from various people who would ask me who my master teacher is and when I would say her name they would respond, "Oh, you poor thing." I didn't get it! I thought maybe she is moody and I felt very sorry for her. So I sat and quietly listened. She thinks grouping is bad teaching, overheads are unnecessary, and lecture is best. Well too effing bad. I may be nice, but I'm not an idiot.
Then, in January when I began getting my preparations in order, I asked if I could use an overhead. It's a damn overhead, it's not much to ask for. She had a cow. So, I went to the department chair and innocently asked "are there any extra overheads in the classrooms, M doesn't seem to have one? And when she found out that my master teacher doesn't use one and also doesn't allow me to use one, the poop hit the fan." The dept. chair went to the VP and then everything went nuts. This woman has a history! Why the hell did they place a student teacher with her!!???
All the teachers come up to me and congratulate me for being a "trooper" and working with this crazy nut. I am sick of this.
Anyway, the VP has been very supportive and so has the department chair. I am actually hoping they can observe me next week. What to do? It is so awkward and I hate animosity. My sister has always said that I would be nice to Osama if I met him and I am too nice, so I feel good that I was a little assertive. It is a very awkward situation. I think the woman needs medication!
I also listened to her put me down in her passive aggressive ways, talk about how people who speak a foreign language at home will never "cut it" in teaching or as students, correct me in front of the whole class when I called "Calliope" (KA-LEE-OH-PEE) which is the proper way to say the term (not Cuh-lye-oh-pee) told me that I would be better in middle school, metacognitive stuff "dumbs down lowell" that I'm too easy a grader, etc etc etc. People would come up to me and ask and I would say "oh, it's fine" etc etc. Then I would also get comments from various people who would ask me who my master teacher is and when I would say her name they would respond, "Oh, you poor thing." I didn't get it! I thought maybe she is moody and I felt very sorry for her. So I sat and quietly listened. She thinks grouping is bad teaching, overheads are unnecessary, and lecture is best. Well too effing bad. I may be nice, but I'm not an idiot.
Then, in January when I began getting my preparations in order, I asked if I could use an overhead. It's a damn overhead, it's not much to ask for. She had a cow. So, I went to the department chair and innocently asked "are there any extra overheads in the classrooms, M doesn't seem to have one? And when she found out that my master teacher doesn't use one and also doesn't allow me to use one, the poop hit the fan." The dept. chair went to the VP and then everything went nuts. This woman has a history! Why the hell did they place a student teacher with her!!???
All the teachers come up to me and congratulate me for being a "trooper" and working with this crazy nut. I am sick of this.
Anyway, the VP has been very supportive and so has the department chair. I am actually hoping they can observe me next week. What to do? It is so awkward and I hate animosity. My sister has always said that I would be nice to Osama if I met him and I am too nice, so I feel good that I was a little assertive. It is a very awkward situation. I think the woman needs medication!
Sunday, April 22, 2007
The Helpful Hubby
The power of my helpful hubby. On top of the fact that he is mr. mom the minute he gets home and cleans nappies while listening to elvis costello, he also shows me practical ways to deal with students, interview questions, school politics, lesson plans, etc. I guess I have an advantage because I have a few years of teaching and I have E's ideas on how to deal with students, portfolios, evaluations, job search (can't go to his district, it's just too far). When I ask him for his opinion on articles we read, he can't help me. It's just not practical stuff. He is not a theoretist, and neither will I be when I start working in a district.
So, now I have to get my icap done and just noticed a similarity. Everything addressed in the TPEs is what our future administrators will use in their formal and informal observations of us. When he showed me his evaluation form that the state mandates administrators to use when they evaluate teachers, it looks almost like the TPEs!~!!!!!!!
What a sigh of relief!!!! AT LAST, the stuff we are doing in our credential program ACTUALLY MESHES WITH WHAT WE WILL BE DOING IN OUR JOBS.
So, now I have to get my icap done and just noticed a similarity. Everything addressed in the TPEs is what our future administrators will use in their formal and informal observations of us. When he showed me his evaluation form that the state mandates administrators to use when they evaluate teachers, it looks almost like the TPEs!~!!!!!!!
What a sigh of relief!!!! AT LAST, the stuff we are doing in our credential program ACTUALLY MESHES WITH WHAT WE WILL BE DOING IN OUR JOBS.
Friday, April 20, 2007
It worked
I decided to deal with Mr. Hubris (my arrogant studen) in this manner.
After reading his rude, crude, socially unacceptable, misogynistic, hedonistic story, I thought he wants to shock me. So I decided to not address the rude element and to rip into the story for its immature writing, lack of plot, weak setting, lack of rising action, lack of extended metaphor, and all that other stuff. I wrote, "T, this is a very ridiculous attempt at writing about AIDS as a global issue. It is silly and lacks the depth of a ninth grader at this school. It lacks a setting, plot is weak, and is an F. However, if you would like a better grade, you have until Monday (just like the rest of the class) to come up with a draft and sketch for your story. Also, since you have addressed AIDS in such a weak way, you will write the story about global warming." Sincerely, My name."
This is also the same kid who decided to write a comment with specific innuendos in our class blog. That time, I came in and said, "one more rude entry, and I will close the blog. Period." Also, my blog is great because the site I use gives you this power of omniscience where you can delete their entries if they are rude. So I deleted his.
When he came in, I didn't react, it was business as usual. After class, I called him over and went over the story. I told him it was also a rude story and he said, "what do you mean" and I said nothing, I handed back the story and told him "one more piece of writing like this and mom will be joining you in my class for the whole period. Period." His face went pale. The mom in me felt pleased.
After reading his rude, crude, socially unacceptable, misogynistic, hedonistic story, I thought he wants to shock me. So I decided to not address the rude element and to rip into the story for its immature writing, lack of plot, weak setting, lack of rising action, lack of extended metaphor, and all that other stuff. I wrote, "T, this is a very ridiculous attempt at writing about AIDS as a global issue. It is silly and lacks the depth of a ninth grader at this school. It lacks a setting, plot is weak, and is an F. However, if you would like a better grade, you have until Monday (just like the rest of the class) to come up with a draft and sketch for your story. Also, since you have addressed AIDS in such a weak way, you will write the story about global warming." Sincerely, My name."
This is also the same kid who decided to write a comment with specific innuendos in our class blog. That time, I came in and said, "one more rude entry, and I will close the blog. Period." Also, my blog is great because the site I use gives you this power of omniscience where you can delete their entries if they are rude. So I deleted his.
When he came in, I didn't react, it was business as usual. After class, I called him over and went over the story. I told him it was also a rude story and he said, "what do you mean" and I said nothing, I handed back the story and told him "one more piece of writing like this and mom will be joining you in my class for the whole period. Period." His face went pale. The mom in me felt pleased.
Thursday, April 19, 2007
How to deal with a great writer who is a rude, obnoxious kid.
My students are writing allegorical tales regarding a "terrible thing" (Like Eve Bunting's children's story, "Terrible Things" which is an allegory of the holocaust) such as global warming, AIDS, famine, war, racism, etc. We are reading Night and I thought it would be a nice way to "lighten" the unit, since it is heavy and I have timed it during genocide awareness month. The lesson is going very well, except for the little horny twirp that always makes innuendos in class. That's it, I've had it with this brat - you're walking here, but you're limping back.
First, early in the semester he wrote numerous things that were on the border of offensive, for example, when I asked my students to write two examples of assonance and consonance he wrote something like "teacher is delicious, booticious, and malicious." Strike one. I called home. He was somewhat embarrassed and I have been in touch with mom.
Second, he always says things that are on the border of inappropriate. Does he practice being this annoying, or is it a natural talent. I explain that his comments are offensive to all the girls in this class and that I don't want to warn him ever again.
Third, his story is going to be about aids. He wanted to have an animal named "magic" and I said that better not be referring to a certain basketball player. He laughed and said, "Ok Mrs. (name) you got me." I told him that he can write it but when I check the draft, if there is one thing that is offensive, it's an automatic re-write. Period.
So I collected the draft, and of course, it's totally, absolutely offensive. Sexual stuff, based on a kid who likes chocolate ice cream and a kid who likes cherry. Racist actually, and last night I decided I am taking this kid down. That's it. Dr. Evil is coming out. I am the daughter of an olympic boxer.
So, today I am emailing mom, pulling him aside, and giving him an automatic F if he doesn't totally change the story by tomorrow. I will also be inviting mom to class. Let her sit with him, maybe his excessive hubris will be deflated. How's that for dessert?
First, early in the semester he wrote numerous things that were on the border of offensive, for example, when I asked my students to write two examples of assonance and consonance he wrote something like "teacher is delicious, booticious, and malicious." Strike one. I called home. He was somewhat embarrassed and I have been in touch with mom.
Second, he always says things that are on the border of inappropriate. Does he practice being this annoying, or is it a natural talent. I explain that his comments are offensive to all the girls in this class and that I don't want to warn him ever again.
Third, his story is going to be about aids. He wanted to have an animal named "magic" and I said that better not be referring to a certain basketball player. He laughed and said, "Ok Mrs. (name) you got me." I told him that he can write it but when I check the draft, if there is one thing that is offensive, it's an automatic re-write. Period.
So I collected the draft, and of course, it's totally, absolutely offensive. Sexual stuff, based on a kid who likes chocolate ice cream and a kid who likes cherry. Racist actually, and last night I decided I am taking this kid down. That's it. Dr. Evil is coming out. I am the daughter of an olympic boxer.
So, today I am emailing mom, pulling him aside, and giving him an automatic F if he doesn't totally change the story by tomorrow. I will also be inviting mom to class. Let her sit with him, maybe his excessive hubris will be deflated. How's that for dessert?
Monday, April 16, 2007
April is the cruelest month indeed.
My husband told me that most school violence takes place in April. It's a misnomer that people equate it with Hitler's birthday, but that it actually has to do with April, Spring, and I guess the biology of chaos. Most genocides have also started in April. April is indeed the cruelest month.
As a teacher, I don't have any words to describe my horror and disgust at the news today. As a teacher, it fills me with fear, since I have experienced violence before (May 5, 2000, murder of a mexican gang member by and Armenian gang - happened right in front of me in Glendale while I was hanging out with my students in front of the school's malt shop as I was trying to protect them, a high school student was killed in broad daylight) and then I think as a parent, one day my kids will be in school and I have no control over the type of people they are surrounded by. It's making me a bit neurotic.
My husband is in a gang infested school, and as principal, has had to expell gang kids, only to find tagging and strange things showing up on his school site. This scares the living daylights out of me.
I guess this waxes philosophical or religious, but I am planning my little one's baptism. In Armenian, when the priest asks, "what do you wish for this child?" the Godfather repeats (3 times - trinity) -"faith, hope, love and baptism." Then the priest puts this holy oil that has been made from 1400 kinds of flowers all over the eyes, forehead, back, feet, etc. So, I guess I have to think the same way for all children, students included, that every day, being in the classroom, I do so with faith, hope, love and baptism for humanity (Baptism also related to wisdom) and I guess the holy oil is just the education you hope to give them so that they can make the world a better place.
I guess you can only control so much. So what do I tell my students tomorrow? How about, nothing! How about, do my job and if the question arises, let them talk.
As a teacher, I don't have any words to describe my horror and disgust at the news today. As a teacher, it fills me with fear, since I have experienced violence before (May 5, 2000, murder of a mexican gang member by and Armenian gang - happened right in front of me in Glendale while I was hanging out with my students in front of the school's malt shop as I was trying to protect them, a high school student was killed in broad daylight) and then I think as a parent, one day my kids will be in school and I have no control over the type of people they are surrounded by. It's making me a bit neurotic.
My husband is in a gang infested school, and as principal, has had to expell gang kids, only to find tagging and strange things showing up on his school site. This scares the living daylights out of me.
I guess this waxes philosophical or religious, but I am planning my little one's baptism. In Armenian, when the priest asks, "what do you wish for this child?" the Godfather repeats (3 times - trinity) -"faith, hope, love and baptism." Then the priest puts this holy oil that has been made from 1400 kinds of flowers all over the eyes, forehead, back, feet, etc. So, I guess I have to think the same way for all children, students included, that every day, being in the classroom, I do so with faith, hope, love and baptism for humanity (Baptism also related to wisdom) and I guess the holy oil is just the education you hope to give them so that they can make the world a better place.
I guess you can only control so much. So what do I tell my students tomorrow? How about, nothing! How about, do my job and if the question arises, let them talk.
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
private and public schools
The end of the semester is getting near and I am getting anxious! I only have four more meetings in my C&I class and a lifetime of teaching ahead of me. DO I know everything? No. Am I synthesizing all the information? Sort of.
Today was a pleasant teaching day, and I figured that the best days are the ones where I am overprepared. That's just the name of the game. I had my full notes, did my homework, had the power point slides in tip top shape with pictures and all kinds of neat stuff, and the kids were loving it.
As for the job hunt, I am not being very agressive, but I am starting to look at local schools on the west side. Of course, it would be great to get a job at my site, but I am not going to assume that I would even be hired. I had an informational interview at a local Jesuit school, and here's what I think.
First of all, every single classroom was in top shape. New desks, carpeted floors, student work everywhere, document cameras in each classroom, LCD projectors mounted on the ceilings, screens that with the push of a button, pop back into the ceiling, happy students, happy teachers, just a dream. The grounds were immaculate, fresh flowers were planted everywhere, the mulch was fresh and there weren't any three day old banana peels on the floors.
Of course, this is also a very, very wealthy school. Tuition is upwards of 14K, with all kinds of other expenses. That is actually one of the more reasonably priced high schools in the city - my daughter's pre-k is 9K, so for a high school, that's not really bad.
Also, the teachers are fantastic. The one I met with was so positive, students were coming to her classroom for one on one time and essay work, and she would say, "excuse me, let me just talk to her for a second...mary, how are your parents, come over here and sit down. Highlight all the verbs in your essay and put them in present tense. " etcetc.
I looked at their pay scale and it was a little more, ie: I would make about 48,500 if I worked there. Not bad. SFUSD would pay about 46. However, you don't need to worry about the pressure of no supplies, negative teachers, old crap all over the office, dusty OEDs that no one ever looks at, etc.
The teacher told me that they take care of the school because the kids deserve it. I know that is also a marketing comment, however, she really meant it, and I agree.
Treat them with respect, and the kids will respect you. I do believe that.
Today was a pleasant teaching day, and I figured that the best days are the ones where I am overprepared. That's just the name of the game. I had my full notes, did my homework, had the power point slides in tip top shape with pictures and all kinds of neat stuff, and the kids were loving it.
As for the job hunt, I am not being very agressive, but I am starting to look at local schools on the west side. Of course, it would be great to get a job at my site, but I am not going to assume that I would even be hired. I had an informational interview at a local Jesuit school, and here's what I think.
First of all, every single classroom was in top shape. New desks, carpeted floors, student work everywhere, document cameras in each classroom, LCD projectors mounted on the ceilings, screens that with the push of a button, pop back into the ceiling, happy students, happy teachers, just a dream. The grounds were immaculate, fresh flowers were planted everywhere, the mulch was fresh and there weren't any three day old banana peels on the floors.
Of course, this is also a very, very wealthy school. Tuition is upwards of 14K, with all kinds of other expenses. That is actually one of the more reasonably priced high schools in the city - my daughter's pre-k is 9K, so for a high school, that's not really bad.
Also, the teachers are fantastic. The one I met with was so positive, students were coming to her classroom for one on one time and essay work, and she would say, "excuse me, let me just talk to her for a second...mary, how are your parents, come over here and sit down. Highlight all the verbs in your essay and put them in present tense. " etcetc.
I looked at their pay scale and it was a little more, ie: I would make about 48,500 if I worked there. Not bad. SFUSD would pay about 46. However, you don't need to worry about the pressure of no supplies, negative teachers, old crap all over the office, dusty OEDs that no one ever looks at, etc.
The teacher told me that they take care of the school because the kids deserve it. I know that is also a marketing comment, however, she really meant it, and I agree.
Treat them with respect, and the kids will respect you. I do believe that.
Saturday, March 31, 2007
A problematic lesson
I went ahead and taught MND's Act II, Scene 1. It was not horrible, but it was definitely one of the weaker teaching days.
I began the lesson with Four on the Floor (an activity I love and learned in this program). The questions were about specific passages where the students had to figure out what was going on. (Strike one) One of the posters had Oberon and Titania in bubble maps (that was a good one) and the conflict between the two. That was the only good poster.
After the activity, I posted the posters up and looked at the responses, 80% of them were totally, absolutely, off. Some students either hadn't read, some read and didn't understand, and a couple really got it.
Let me also mention that my master teacher was in there to observe me. I thought to myself, "self!" what do I do?
I ignored the posters and had the students refer to their texts, beginning with some interpretation about my favorite passage (Titania describing her friend's pregnant belly,etc). Again, no response.
Hmm. What to do now? I ended the lesson and played a game. Now it's spring break. What to do?
I began the lesson with Four on the Floor (an activity I love and learned in this program). The questions were about specific passages where the students had to figure out what was going on. (Strike one) One of the posters had Oberon and Titania in bubble maps (that was a good one) and the conflict between the two. That was the only good poster.
After the activity, I posted the posters up and looked at the responses, 80% of them were totally, absolutely, off. Some students either hadn't read, some read and didn't understand, and a couple really got it.
Let me also mention that my master teacher was in there to observe me. I thought to myself, "self!" what do I do?
I ignored the posters and had the students refer to their texts, beginning with some interpretation about my favorite passage (Titania describing her friend's pregnant belly,etc). Again, no response.
Hmm. What to do now? I ended the lesson and played a game. Now it's spring break. What to do?
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
I love Shakespeare, and my master teacher cried. All in one day!
What a manic profession this is! Someone had mentioned this in the program and now I agree.
I originally stated that I hate Shakespeare. Shame on me. That is not the case. I think that comes from my high school experience and university deconstruction of Shakespeare.
THis week we are studying MND Act 2, sc.1 and it is so beautiful that I really don't know how to teach it. I know how to teach it in the sense that I can teach the "meaning": and I can create discussions, but how do you elicit a visceral response to beautiful language?? I am referring to the lines from Titania, where she and Oberon are bickering about the little boy, and she describes the woman who gave birth to the child, stating, "...when we have laughed to see the sails conceive and grow big bellied with the wanton wind, which she, with pretty and swimming gait, following (her womb then rich with my young squire), would imitate and sail upon the land to fetch me trifles and return again, as from a voyage, rich with merchandise. But she, being mortal, of that boy did die, and for her sake do I rear up her boy, and for her sake I will not part with him."
Whew. really, how the hell do we teach that? How can we expect ninth graders to appreciate this without ruining the magic of those lines? It would be like telling my daughter that there is no Santa, that mommy and daddy order all the toys from online and when they break, it breaks our pockets, not santas. Or I can just tell them a bunch of things to make them cynics. Is it just me, maybe it's because I am a mom, but I don't think you need to be a mom or even an adult for that matter to be able to comprehend the gorgeousness of those lines. Frankly, i am uncomfortable teaching this to the ninth graders because I will probably ruin it. Really, can't they just read it an hopefully two of the students will be moved? Frankly, I don't even know if I can read these lines without my voice cracking or my eyes welling up. On the other hand, if I don't ask them to pay attention to the images and language, I am not introducing them to the beauty of Shakespeare.
Which leads me to the second part of this post. Is it march madness or what?
My other master teacher met with me today. She gave me a decent erod, etc. That's nice and all and she went over a couple things like "I scaffold too much" and "students at this school should have lots of lectures" etc. Ok, whatever. Then she started to cry! She told me that she found out that i had discussed a conversation between the two of us (actually, when she told me some very offensive things) and she had found out that i had mentioned this to my dept. chair. My chair was so sorry to place me with such a crazy person who has had student teachers quit left and right when they worked with her, etc etc that I am fortunate I didn't tell my master teacher that I actually chose to STAY with her because I feel so sorry for her!!!! I AM SUCH AN IDIOT.
Anyway, I explained to her that I am accountable to my program and the practices that I must address in this program and that was that. I didn't feel bad, I didn't typically apologize and be passive, as I usually am. I stood my ground.
Frankly, I don't think those tears were even sincere. She is a very manipulative person and I am fed up. For once I was assertive and I am happy about it.
Now I am waiting for my karma. I could have kept my mouth to myself and not shared her comments with the dept. chair, but in the end, that would have hurt me.
I originally stated that I hate Shakespeare. Shame on me. That is not the case. I think that comes from my high school experience and university deconstruction of Shakespeare.
THis week we are studying MND Act 2, sc.1 and it is so beautiful that I really don't know how to teach it. I know how to teach it in the sense that I can teach the "meaning": and I can create discussions, but how do you elicit a visceral response to beautiful language?? I am referring to the lines from Titania, where she and Oberon are bickering about the little boy, and she describes the woman who gave birth to the child, stating, "...when we have laughed to see the sails conceive and grow big bellied with the wanton wind, which she, with pretty and swimming gait, following (her womb then rich with my young squire), would imitate and sail upon the land to fetch me trifles and return again, as from a voyage, rich with merchandise. But she, being mortal, of that boy did die, and for her sake do I rear up her boy, and for her sake I will not part with him."
Whew. really, how the hell do we teach that? How can we expect ninth graders to appreciate this without ruining the magic of those lines? It would be like telling my daughter that there is no Santa, that mommy and daddy order all the toys from online and when they break, it breaks our pockets, not santas. Or I can just tell them a bunch of things to make them cynics. Is it just me, maybe it's because I am a mom, but I don't think you need to be a mom or even an adult for that matter to be able to comprehend the gorgeousness of those lines. Frankly, i am uncomfortable teaching this to the ninth graders because I will probably ruin it. Really, can't they just read it an hopefully two of the students will be moved? Frankly, I don't even know if I can read these lines without my voice cracking or my eyes welling up. On the other hand, if I don't ask them to pay attention to the images and language, I am not introducing them to the beauty of Shakespeare.
Which leads me to the second part of this post. Is it march madness or what?
My other master teacher met with me today. She gave me a decent erod, etc. That's nice and all and she went over a couple things like "I scaffold too much" and "students at this school should have lots of lectures" etc. Ok, whatever. Then she started to cry! She told me that she found out that i had discussed a conversation between the two of us (actually, when she told me some very offensive things) and she had found out that i had mentioned this to my dept. chair. My chair was so sorry to place me with such a crazy person who has had student teachers quit left and right when they worked with her, etc etc that I am fortunate I didn't tell my master teacher that I actually chose to STAY with her because I feel so sorry for her!!!! I AM SUCH AN IDIOT.
Anyway, I explained to her that I am accountable to my program and the practices that I must address in this program and that was that. I didn't feel bad, I didn't typically apologize and be passive, as I usually am. I stood my ground.
Frankly, I don't think those tears were even sincere. She is a very manipulative person and I am fed up. For once I was assertive and I am happy about it.
Now I am waiting for my karma. I could have kept my mouth to myself and not shared her comments with the dept. chair, but in the end, that would have hurt me.
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
erod
You think you know your master teacher until you get hit with this.
"Conscientiously checks for understanding. In fact, may sometimes overestimate obligation to do so." Rating 2/3
What the hell? There is this assumption at this damn school that the students know everything and if they don't, well, that's just too bad. And this was from the master teacher who I like!!
This is not Oxford or Stanford. It's a public high school with students who still write "I went their" and "alot" and make the same mistakes that other students make. What a bunch of ridiculousness, all I did was an exit ticket!
In my other class, we started Night. I debated whether I should talk about my family's experience about the genocide. I didn't tell them that my grandmother drank horse urine to stay alive because she saw other people getting sick from drinking the well water, but I did tell them that all of my grandparents families were murdered before their very eyes. I also told them that some of the material we will be reading is very sad, and that we will do other activities to try to lighten it up. I am going to bring them candy on Thursday and we'll watch scenes from Life is Beautiful in a couple weeks. I really want to stay away from giving vocabulary on Dachau and Auschwitz, and try to get the students to have a personal reaction to the book. On the other hand, they need to know the terms so that they can understand the full context and historical implications of the book.
Today in C&I I was thinking we only have about five class meetings left. This freaks me out. I feel like I have learned everything and nothing simultaneously. I really like my friends in the program, and I hope that we will still have some kind of community after we are done.
I am a bit stressed out really. My best friend told me to start having one drink a night and that it's good for your heart, etc. My alchohol tolerance is very low and I have tons of work to do, so I can't. However, I am beginning to think that it would be good for me to take up such a habit. At least I wouldn't be smoking. My oldest daughter is sad when I come home late, and my younger one just said mam for the first time. I am not sure if she was referring to cheerios or me.
"Conscientiously checks for understanding. In fact, may sometimes overestimate obligation to do so." Rating 2/3
What the hell? There is this assumption at this damn school that the students know everything and if they don't, well, that's just too bad. And this was from the master teacher who I like!!
This is not Oxford or Stanford. It's a public high school with students who still write "I went their" and "alot" and make the same mistakes that other students make. What a bunch of ridiculousness, all I did was an exit ticket!
In my other class, we started Night. I debated whether I should talk about my family's experience about the genocide. I didn't tell them that my grandmother drank horse urine to stay alive because she saw other people getting sick from drinking the well water, but I did tell them that all of my grandparents families were murdered before their very eyes. I also told them that some of the material we will be reading is very sad, and that we will do other activities to try to lighten it up. I am going to bring them candy on Thursday and we'll watch scenes from Life is Beautiful in a couple weeks. I really want to stay away from giving vocabulary on Dachau and Auschwitz, and try to get the students to have a personal reaction to the book. On the other hand, they need to know the terms so that they can understand the full context and historical implications of the book.
Today in C&I I was thinking we only have about five class meetings left. This freaks me out. I feel like I have learned everything and nothing simultaneously. I really like my friends in the program, and I hope that we will still have some kind of community after we are done.
I am a bit stressed out really. My best friend told me to start having one drink a night and that it's good for your heart, etc. My alchohol tolerance is very low and I have tons of work to do, so I can't. However, I am beginning to think that it would be good for me to take up such a habit. At least I wouldn't be smoking. My oldest daughter is sad when I come home late, and my younger one just said mam for the first time. I am not sure if she was referring to cheerios or me.
Monday, March 26, 2007
I hate Shakespeare!
I don't really hate Shakespeare, but I hate teaching it at my site. Really, these people take themselves too damn seriously!!!
My students are enjoying my lessons. Today we studied Bottomisms, ie; why Bottom uses so many malapropisms, etc. My other class has started Night and that won't be a problem.
The good news is that the VP at my site loves me, so does my dept. chair. The bad news is, my one master teacher sucks. She is the worst teacher I have ever seen. I really don't know how she can be a master teacher.
My erod has a 2 on it because one master teacher thingks I check for understanding TOO MUCH. What a bunch of bullshit.
My students are enjoying my lessons. Today we studied Bottomisms, ie; why Bottom uses so many malapropisms, etc. My other class has started Night and that won't be a problem.
The good news is that the VP at my site loves me, so does my dept. chair. The bad news is, my one master teacher sucks. She is the worst teacher I have ever seen. I really don't know how she can be a master teacher.
My erod has a 2 on it because one master teacher thingks I check for understanding TOO MUCH. What a bunch of bullshit.
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
close to dropping out!
I was so close to dropping out of the program this weekend. Really, is all this work worth it?
The answer is, YES.
I was just able to sit down. My nanny's husband had a heartattack so I am home early and with the kids. THe problem is today I had an asynchronous remote lesson or whatever and literally couldn't get to the computer to post. Now it's too late. Oh well.
I am starting midsummer night's dream this week and next week I'll start Night which I am so thrilled about. Genocide is my thing. On top of that, I am waiting for news about my book from a publisher. The editor told me he really, really likes my book but has to wait to make some decisions with his editing partner. I guess it's nice he likes it. SO I find out in the next couple weeks. The book is about genocide, the loss of language/discourse, and string theory. How weird is that? I wrote it last year and I am wondering what to do with it if this publisher doesn't publish it. I only want this publisher!!!
Furthermore, my classroom is going well. It's wonderful!!!! I am having so much fun in there that I wonder where the work went. It's very hard work, but really, other than some tweaking here and there, the students seem to be happy, except for one who consistently has problems in all her classes. I am working with her. She actually lights up when she sees me and likes to talk, and all that, but when it comes to doing work, she is very inconsistent. I'm thinking she will like this new unit, and some days she has her work, but she has so much on her personal life plate that I don't know what to do. I think she likes my consistency though. I am probably the most consistent thing in her life now. So, I'll be helping her during office hours.
The answer is, YES.
I was just able to sit down. My nanny's husband had a heartattack so I am home early and with the kids. THe problem is today I had an asynchronous remote lesson or whatever and literally couldn't get to the computer to post. Now it's too late. Oh well.
I am starting midsummer night's dream this week and next week I'll start Night which I am so thrilled about. Genocide is my thing. On top of that, I am waiting for news about my book from a publisher. The editor told me he really, really likes my book but has to wait to make some decisions with his editing partner. I guess it's nice he likes it. SO I find out in the next couple weeks. The book is about genocide, the loss of language/discourse, and string theory. How weird is that? I wrote it last year and I am wondering what to do with it if this publisher doesn't publish it. I only want this publisher!!!
Furthermore, my classroom is going well. It's wonderful!!!! I am having so much fun in there that I wonder where the work went. It's very hard work, but really, other than some tweaking here and there, the students seem to be happy, except for one who consistently has problems in all her classes. I am working with her. She actually lights up when she sees me and likes to talk, and all that, but when it comes to doing work, she is very inconsistent. I'm thinking she will like this new unit, and some days she has her work, but she has so much on her personal life plate that I don't know what to do. I think she likes my consistency though. I am probably the most consistent thing in her life now. So, I'll be helping her during office hours.
Friday, March 16, 2007
The Nanny Diaries
My nanny's husband had a massive heartattack this week. These people have more worries than anyone. She came from Armenia five years ago, worked odd and end jobs as a midwife (she has medical training and her husband is an engineer) and now her kids are here. All three are ESL students. All three have tested out of ELD in one year. She is only 42 and her husband is also.
So, think about this. On top of the fact that kids have major issues when they come to the classroom, imagine if they are also learning english.
I don't have much else to write today. Teaching wise, it was a good week. Their blog is going well.
So, think about this. On top of the fact that kids have major issues when they come to the classroom, imagine if they are also learning english.
I don't have much else to write today. Teaching wise, it was a good week. Their blog is going well.
Friday, March 9, 2007
It's Friday
Well, my metaphors lesson was just a little too hard. The kids liked it but they were lost at one point. I used Naomi Shihab Nye's poem "Blood" and compared it to an article about the Pal/Israel issue. It was effective, however, the Margaret Atwood poem was not so effective, a little too complicated. So I downshifted a little and went over a Langston Hughes poem which was quite simple. In retrospect, it wasn't that bad.
Then the eleventh graders came in an did their Beowulf presentation, stealing a student to make him swear fealty. IT was hilarious.
The home front is ok. My husband is conked out on the couch and I am ready to do the same. However, I have to finish grading because they are due on Monday.
I have to start Midsummer Night's Dream and I am very stressed about it. I have never taught a Shakespeare play. I'm doing sonnets next week which should be fun, and then my website will be up!
Then the eleventh graders came in an did their Beowulf presentation, stealing a student to make him swear fealty. IT was hilarious.
The home front is ok. My husband is conked out on the couch and I am ready to do the same. However, I have to finish grading because they are due on Monday.
I have to start Midsummer Night's Dream and I am very stressed about it. I have never taught a Shakespeare play. I'm doing sonnets next week which should be fun, and then my website will be up!
Wednesday, March 7, 2007
pilaf, dolma, bibs, and lesson plans
Here's how my day goes:
6:00 wake up to baby crying (peeking at me from the crib) four year old asking for cheerios, and husband running out the door to go to sunnyvale.
between 6:00 and 8:00, I manage to feed the baby (bottle and solids) dress the four year old into her uniform and feed her cheerios. While she eats honey nut cheerios in my bed in front of pbs kids (I gauge how much time I have until I have to leave in half hour increments, Arthur, Caillou, Barney, Curious George) and once I hear the Curious George song I know it's time to leave. I shower, cook shell pasta with peas and white sauce for my daughter's lunch, boil water to heat up the thermos, and manage to gulp my two huge mugs of coffee) Lucky I haven't smoked in ten years, I now feel for the woman described in the Stones song "Mother's Little Helper" (I'm negative today, this isn't always the case). Mother needs something today to calm her down...frozen steak and cake and all.
My husband and I have become responsible people now. I know this doesn't pertain to teaching, but it does. He was an English teacher for 10 years before becoming an administrator. He was probably the best English teacher hands down that you would ever see, drove a harley, a film school degree, and had an earring. Now he wears eccos and clarks, button down collar shirts and khakis. I guess it's nice because it pays the mortgage, school tuition, and all that stuff. They guy knows all of Whitman's song of myself by heart and has lesson plans that integrate grouping and peer editing and different genre stuff, etc. Poor guy. I can't even ask him the "how was your day" it's just "grab the older one, give her a bath while i feed the younger one and then when they are in bed i do my homework and lessons. I'm starting to get sick of this program.
Then after getting home from dropping off the older one, I manage to play with the younger one a little before it's her nap time and thankfully, the nanny comes over and I can start completing my work for teaching/homework/readings for class/etc. Then I'm out the door. God bless her. If it wasn't for my mom, my nanny, my dad, and my husband, there's no way in hell i could do this. I guess it does take a village.
Frankly, the classroom is the happiest, least chaotic, most joyful part of the day. I hate to admit it. All my friends were right when I was a stay at home mom that although the grind is very hard, being at work is a million times easier than the home front. I actually get to sit. I actually get to teach. I get to walk around and have students smile when something clicks. I know it's mushy, but I love the classroom. I even don't mind grading papers. I feel euphoric when I walk down the halls and the two kids basically written off by the school yell, HEY "my name" how are you! Buy a malt!"
When people start looking at you and wondering if you are ok you start to wonder why. I'm actually fine. I am counting the days until this program is over. I love what I am learning, but I really don't know how much longer I can cut myself off from my family, reading theoretical mumbo jumbo and discussing meaningless crap in my classes. I've done the grad school thing already, I've discussed bakhtin ad nauseum, written all kinds of thesis work, done the "prove yourself to the professor" thing already. I'm too old and settled for this. I just want to teach and come home and be mom. That's that.
Now I have to do some kind of homework for tomorrow night's class. I've been tutoring my nanny who is a non-English speaker (we speak Armenian).
And, back to the pilaf. I burned the pilaf today. great job. Not a big deal really, except when you have a kid who wants pilaf with noodles like the kind my nana made and you are washing the baby and your husband comes home and asks if you were planning on burning the house down. the salmon tasted nasty and I ate soy chips while telling my daughter to eat her broccoli. now I have to work on grouping my students for their odyssey unit. my shakespeare unit is next week and i am building a blog and website for it.
If I don't have a nervous breakdown by the end of the semester, I am truly super woman. I should just have a big S on my shirt.
6:00 wake up to baby crying (peeking at me from the crib) four year old asking for cheerios, and husband running out the door to go to sunnyvale.
between 6:00 and 8:00, I manage to feed the baby (bottle and solids) dress the four year old into her uniform and feed her cheerios. While she eats honey nut cheerios in my bed in front of pbs kids (I gauge how much time I have until I have to leave in half hour increments, Arthur, Caillou, Barney, Curious George) and once I hear the Curious George song I know it's time to leave. I shower, cook shell pasta with peas and white sauce for my daughter's lunch, boil water to heat up the thermos, and manage to gulp my two huge mugs of coffee) Lucky I haven't smoked in ten years, I now feel for the woman described in the Stones song "Mother's Little Helper" (I'm negative today, this isn't always the case). Mother needs something today to calm her down...frozen steak and cake and all.
My husband and I have become responsible people now. I know this doesn't pertain to teaching, but it does. He was an English teacher for 10 years before becoming an administrator. He was probably the best English teacher hands down that you would ever see, drove a harley, a film school degree, and had an earring. Now he wears eccos and clarks, button down collar shirts and khakis. I guess it's nice because it pays the mortgage, school tuition, and all that stuff. They guy knows all of Whitman's song of myself by heart and has lesson plans that integrate grouping and peer editing and different genre stuff, etc. Poor guy. I can't even ask him the "how was your day" it's just "grab the older one, give her a bath while i feed the younger one and then when they are in bed i do my homework and lessons. I'm starting to get sick of this program.
Then after getting home from dropping off the older one, I manage to play with the younger one a little before it's her nap time and thankfully, the nanny comes over and I can start completing my work for teaching/homework/readings for class/etc. Then I'm out the door. God bless her. If it wasn't for my mom, my nanny, my dad, and my husband, there's no way in hell i could do this. I guess it does take a village.
Frankly, the classroom is the happiest, least chaotic, most joyful part of the day. I hate to admit it. All my friends were right when I was a stay at home mom that although the grind is very hard, being at work is a million times easier than the home front. I actually get to sit. I actually get to teach. I get to walk around and have students smile when something clicks. I know it's mushy, but I love the classroom. I even don't mind grading papers. I feel euphoric when I walk down the halls and the two kids basically written off by the school yell, HEY "my name" how are you! Buy a malt!"
When people start looking at you and wondering if you are ok you start to wonder why. I'm actually fine. I am counting the days until this program is over. I love what I am learning, but I really don't know how much longer I can cut myself off from my family, reading theoretical mumbo jumbo and discussing meaningless crap in my classes. I've done the grad school thing already, I've discussed bakhtin ad nauseum, written all kinds of thesis work, done the "prove yourself to the professor" thing already. I'm too old and settled for this. I just want to teach and come home and be mom. That's that.
Now I have to do some kind of homework for tomorrow night's class. I've been tutoring my nanny who is a non-English speaker (we speak Armenian).
And, back to the pilaf. I burned the pilaf today. great job. Not a big deal really, except when you have a kid who wants pilaf with noodles like the kind my nana made and you are washing the baby and your husband comes home and asks if you were planning on burning the house down. the salmon tasted nasty and I ate soy chips while telling my daughter to eat her broccoli. now I have to work on grouping my students for their odyssey unit. my shakespeare unit is next week and i am building a blog and website for it.
If I don't have a nervous breakdown by the end of the semester, I am truly super woman. I should just have a big S on my shirt.
Friday, March 2, 2007
Master teacher strikes again
Well, today my master teacher got passive aggressive again. I took the higher road and ignored it, but I'm starting to think she's just plain stupid.
I was introducing the students to the language of the Odyssey - having a blast assigning their "anonymous" blog names as greek characters, and i then passed over ogygia - which I pronounced the greek way, but she decided to "correct" my Greek. No biggy, but it was the umpteenth time she had tried to correct me in front of students. So I just said, "hey class, you have the mythology diva here, and she's teaching you tomorrow." (I was going to be out sick the next day and my master teacher knew that because I've been sick as a dog) and then she said, "oh no, you are the mythology diva" etc etc. What a stupid woman.
Anyway, when she saw that I didn't really care or pay any attention to her correction, I guess it worked because she apologized after class (quite profusely) and I just said it's ok and I don't care. I guess it's like the scene from the Godfather - "Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer."
So much for this week. I'm tired.
I was introducing the students to the language of the Odyssey - having a blast assigning their "anonymous" blog names as greek characters, and i then passed over ogygia - which I pronounced the greek way, but she decided to "correct" my Greek. No biggy, but it was the umpteenth time she had tried to correct me in front of students. So I just said, "hey class, you have the mythology diva here, and she's teaching you tomorrow." (I was going to be out sick the next day and my master teacher knew that because I've been sick as a dog) and then she said, "oh no, you are the mythology diva" etc etc. What a stupid woman.
Anyway, when she saw that I didn't really care or pay any attention to her correction, I guess it worked because she apologized after class (quite profusely) and I just said it's ok and I don't care. I guess it's like the scene from the Godfather - "Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer."
So much for this week. I'm tired.
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)