April is the cruelest month indeed.

My husband told me that most school violence takes place in April. It's a misnomer that people equate it with Hitler's birthday, but that it actually has to do with April, Spring, and I guess the biology of chaos. Most genocides have also started in April. April is indeed the cruelest month.

As a teacher, I don't have any words to describe my horror and disgust at the news today. As a teacher, it fills me with fear, since I have experienced violence before (May 5, 2000, murder of a mexican gang member by and Armenian gang - happened right in front of me in Glendale while I was hanging out with my students in front of the school's malt shop as I was trying to protect them, a high school student was killed in broad daylight) and then I think as a parent, one day my kids will be in school and I have no control over the type of people they are surrounded by. It's making me a bit neurotic.

My husband is in a gang infested school, and as principal, has had to expell gang kids, only to find tagging and strange things showing up on his school site. This scares the living daylights out of me.

I guess this waxes philosophical or religious, but I am planning my little one's baptism. In Armenian, when the priest asks, "what do you wish for this child?" the Godfather repeats (3 times - trinity) -"faith, hope, love and baptism." Then the priest puts this holy oil that has been made from 1400 kinds of flowers all over the eyes, forehead, back, feet, etc. So, I guess I have to think the same way for all children, students included, that every day, being in the classroom, I do so with faith, hope, love and baptism for humanity (Baptism also related to wisdom) and I guess the holy oil is just the education you hope to give them so that they can make the world a better place.

I guess you can only control so much. So what do I tell my students tomorrow? How about, nothing! How about, do my job and if the question arises, let them talk.